Reasons why the UK is a funnier place than the USA

Fry and Laurie!

Top Gear.

Ricky Gervais.

Honorable mention to: (honestly they are just as good, it's more like a continuation of the list)

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost.

The Monthy Pythons.

Eddie Izzard.

Roommates I'd like to have

Hank Moody.

Woody Allen.

Emmy Rossum. Not just because of her looks but she's also a trained opera singer, true story.

Honorable mention to: Mc Chris, Zach Galifianakis, and Lily Allen.

Things I'd rather do than watch Prince of Persia

Getting arrested for stabbing Hank and Sean in their left knees.

Throw rocks in the lake.

Go to Los Angeles and talk about how cold Philly is.

Honorable mention to: Playing Prince of Persia, talking about how Persia is just Iran and it has been for a while, and watching good movies.

Things that should be banned

These type of shoes.

Lolcat english.

People who automatically associate Germany and nazis.

Honorable mention to: Wearing sunglasses inside, people who say "ewwww" when they look at what someone is eating, and Liquor chocolates.

Expressions that can be misinterpreted

Righty tighty, lefty loosy.

For politics.

Don't have a cow!

In trading.

God works in mysterious ways.

To explain the work ethic of Joseph God, your coworker.

Honorable mention to:

Foul is fair and fair is foul.

Talking about a pig festival.

If I had a dime every time I heard this...

Talking about the word "you".

Only the good die young.

Talking about a chicken. (Wow! Third animal reference!)

Some of my role models pt2

Dr. Steve Brule, for MY health!

Insanity wolf.

Pete Doherty.

Honorable mention to: Sid Vicious, Tyler Durden, and Count Chocula.

Things you do not want to read on a syllabus

That you'll be working in a group all term. (especially if everything needs to be all white)

That you need to attend stuff outside of class hours, especially Christian Rock.

That you need to have a tutor.

Honorable mention to: That your professor is an ex torture specialist for the CIA, that it's supposed to be the hardest class for that major, and that you'll have to watch Citizen Kane.

Things that are less of a waste of time than watching Don't Mess with the Zohan

Hitting yourself.

Sitting.

Reading O magazine.

Honorable mention to: Waiting for Sean for 20 minutes, talking about Disney girls, and remembering the movie Snow Day.

Things people should ask Santa for more often

Polar Bears, they're on TV every day at that time of year. Surprising no one thinks of them as a gift.

Coal. It might not be fun but at least you'll never officially know if you were naughty or nice.

The unquestionable proof of his existence.

Honorable mention to: Hard drugs, one of his elves, and a hug.

Underrated rappers

Gym Class Heroes

Jamie T!

Bo Burnham

Honorable mention to: MC Pee Pants, Bernardo from Zorro, and The Streets

Overrated things

Blueberries

The Social Network

Twitter

Honorable mention to: being right, Superman, and 3d movies.

Awesome street artists

Free Humanity

Adult Swim

Trane from UV TPK

Honorable mention to: Shepard Fairy, Banksy (I know I'm so original!), and Space Invader.

Reasons Hank is a douche

He looks like Jesus, and Jesus was probably a douche.

He thinks he's smart.

He pretends to be British.

Honorable mention to: he plays Mineshaft, he makes fun of color correction, and He made a comment about this blog!

Ongoing feuds

Montaigues and Capulets, despite the Arctic Monkey's attempt to peace.

Pancakes and waffles.

Bender and Flexo.

Honorable mention to: Every parts of Jersey, America and the rest of the World, and Jay Leno and Conan O'Brian.

My favorite people - a mystery submission!

Slutty asian chicks.

Fat black hipster (apparently the name is blipster) chicks.

Ghette Indian FOBs.

Honorable mention to: drunk and pervy old guys at the town's local bar, French people, and Ben Stiller from the movie Heavy Weights.

Top miscellaneous hipsters

Oh yeah!

This one was good enough to be a post on its own.

Even Butthurt Dweller!

Honorable mention to:

Very true.

Rebecca Black, famous one week hipster the next.

Indiana Jones, looking for thing that are underground since before I was born.