Injustices I want to see repaired

Give the Best Picture to Saving Private Ryan.

Reduce the price of Redbull.

Wave the price of the Troll Toll.

Honorable mention to: Have Freaks and Geeks continue but not rebooted, have Drexel pay back half of everyone's tuition, and have Bender's greatness recognized.

Best parts of flying cross country

Plane snacks.

My computer has a decent battery, sadly it's not the one on the picture.

I get a two hour stop at Las Vegas. Stops suck but Las Vegas has a fun airport.

Honorable mention to: I get to be sick but in the sky!, I don't have middle seats, and I have The Dark Night Returns to read.

Top last words I'd have

"Hasta la vista baby!"

"There is no way we could get hurt from jumping from here"

"I'm not really seeing any bright lights, I guess I'm not going to die after all."

Honorable mention to: "Save the cheerleader, save the world.", "Say 'hi' to your mother for me.", and "Please don't tell anyone I'm about to poop my pants."

Things movies taught me pt2

Don't trust Russians, ever.

Shortcuts aren't shortcuts, most likely they'll get you killed.

Don't open any box, ever, you never know what you're gonna get.

Honorable mention to: the rich millionaire douchebag is either a hero or a evil mastermind, have a black friend so if a killer is around you won't die first, and if you bet you're whole money in a casino you'll win.

Worst parts of being sick

Missing my social life. I miss these people, especially the token black couple.

Coughing.

Being diagnosed with the black plague.

Honorable mention to: feeling hot then cold and feeling guilty cause Katy Perry warned us, imagining green bubbles to come out of my mouth like in comic books, and not yet having a will and testament.

Best parts of being sick

Chicken noodle soup, the soda is optional and to be had on the side.

Sleeping, unlike this woman anxious about what her husband is up to. 

She should turn around more often. 

No school. Oh wait that's too late... I never understood why cousin Itt was in our class.

Honorable mention to: reading comic books, updating this blog, and being able to prove I'm not a robot.

Things that should not be at a wedding

The electric slide, or an electric slide.

Mullets.

Beer pong.

Honorable mention to: piano ties, drunk brides, and an uncle who isn't allowed within 500 yards of a school.

Top comics of the moment

The Walking Dead

Transmetropolitan

Y The Last Man

Honorable mention to: Deadpool anthology, Scott Pilgrim, and Streets of Glory.

Things that make a good serial killer

He has a terrible sketch 

He wears glasses

He plays a friendly sport such as softball.

Honorable mention to: His name is short like Ted, he looks like a hedgehog, and he get too friendly too fast.

Questions I ask myself

How painful was the Wicked Witch's death?

When were glasses invented?

Who first said "dude"?

Honorable mention to: Why isn't Google letting me upload my pictures for this blog?, How popular is brunch?, and What doth life?

Best South Park characters

Eric Cartman, a classic.

Butters, well rated yet still underrated.

Towelie, by far the worst character ever.

Honorable mention to:

Chef, before he became crazy.

Randy Marsh, awesome but a little overrated.

Officer Barbrady, he got forgotten in the last seasons but he is always appreciated.

Reasons why facial hair is essential

Chicks dig the beard.

It shows how old you are.

You can raise birds.

Honorable mention to: It's where Chuck Norris hides his third fist, you can eat the food that gets stuck in it later like a small pantry, and it hides how terrible your skin really is.

Blogs or blog type sites that I happen to read

http://www.comicvine.com/news/

http://lousywaitress.tumblr.com/

http://www.iambetterthanyourkids.com/

Honorable mention to: http://fuckiminmy20s.tumblr.com/ , http://theoatmeal.com/ , http://fr.sports.yahoo.com/fo/pierrotlefoot/ (I highly doubt anyone will be too interested in it, but it's true)

Things being a bro entails

Having great high fiving abilities.

Belonging to this chart.

Having something sweet. Example: this sweet 'stache.

Honorable mention to: referring to your friends as either "dude" or "bro", knowing what bitches love (if you don't already this blog may help), and broaming around through life.

Reasons I'm going to start working out again

So I can finally see my feet.

So I can walk to work without taking three 20 minute breaks.

So construction workers will notice me.

Honorable mention to: so my overpriced tuition goes a little less to waste, so I can feel judged at the gym, and so I can feel more American

The population of the internet

10% trolls.

53% cats.

2% Pedobears

Honorable mention to:

46% of people on Facebook, probably looking at this profile.

7% Old women dreaming of him.

10% Teens dreaming of him.

If you've noticed that the total is 128%, it's probably because there is quite a bit of overlapping, such as cats on Facebook trolling on Robert Pattinson.

Top Pop Culture Scumbags

Honorable mention to: