Tim. He's impressive

Tim. He's impressive

Monday, February 28, 2011

Things that make more sense than my last post

2001a Space Odyssey


The Universe

Honorable Mention to: Stare-offs, Stair-offs, and Uranus.

Things Dane Cook ruined

Snicker doodles 

My birthday


Honorable mention to: Jessica's Alba's comedic career, his hair, and shrapnel.

Things that scientologists should add to their religion

We are in fact in year 2, year one was last thursday.

Water is just tuna tears.

Jesus was a 2x4, he still had powers but he was a piece of lumber.

Honorable mention to: Dracula was a friendly Martian who was framed by Sherlock Holmes, cereal doesn't taste good, and frogs are a kind of tree.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Things I don't want to do

Be on set for the rest of the weekend.

Be buried in a pet cemetery 

Grow up, I'm at Toy 'R' Us!

Honorable mention to: be probed by an alien, discover fire, and play dominoes.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Top pictures I want to post but I don't have an article for


Egg art in GTA

The mooninites 

Honorable mention to: 
Calendar man

Albino Peacock

and The Bible Belt!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Things that are lies

The Cake

Nixon, he never existed. Look it up, you'll see!

The Matrix not the movie the thing in the movie, I wish Matrix 2 & 3 were lies though.

Honorable mention to: Elvis being dead, Dolomite, and "I swear, I ate 3 whole coconuts yesterday!"

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Things that will one day be cheaper than water


Spray tan


Honorable mention to: PBR, pastrami, and my pride.

Small things that annoy me (and the rest of the world)

Texting "kk" instead of "ok" or "okay".

People who play their music on their phones without headphones.

People who say "GTL" ironically or not.

Honorable mention to: people who text during movies, "lmao" the band too, and cheese wiz.

Top things Kait says our kids won't know

Anything that isn't All You Can Eat  Chinese Buffet

That great song that played before getting connected to the internet.

Referring to a song as "Track 4".

Honorable mention to: AOL, Hulk Hogan, and New Jersey (if everything goes according to plan...)

Monday, February 21, 2011

Worst film locations - a mystery submission (you can do one too!)

Philadelphia (permits go through M. Night Shyamalan)

The 1980s (goes hand in hand with an awful soundtrack)

Underwater (too many sharks)

Honorable mentions to: The pit from army of darkness, a phone booth (like that movie Phonebooth), and a vacuum in space

Top things that are falsely cool

Harry Potter

Frisbee, unless you're that guy.

Northface jackets.

Honorable mention to: wrestling (some people do I swear!), 4loko, and Glee.

Things the generation after us will not know


Throwing pebbles at windows (and people have been doing that for centuries!)

VHS tapes, especially ones about frogs.

Honorable mention to: Having Kaitlin tell them what would be a good blog post, getting lost (cell phones and gps), and walkmans.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Things I like better than cold weather

French Fries

Oversized Sunglasses

Dogs in Tuxedoes

Honorable mention to: Qdoba, Manchester United, and Gandalf the White.

Shows I'd host

Real Time with Bill Maher but we'll have to change the name.

Tosh.0. We can keep the name.

Any Jay Leno show, so I'll be the guy who managed to steal his show.

Honorable mention to: Who's Line is it anyways, Man vs Food, and Cash Cab

Friday, February 18, 2011

Top superpower that are kind of cool but not too useful

Shooting firecrackers out of your fingers.

Super smell (the downside is in the picture)

Talking to fish.

Honorable mention to: knitting really fast, producing adrenaline at will, and recognizing any song ever.

Toughest things you can do

Laugh at a wrestler cause he's more of a soap actor than an athlete.

Go to a KKK meeting with these guys.

Read Twilight at a hardcore concert.

Honorable mention to: sneezing with your eyes open, telling Mark Whalberg to "Go fudge himself" and I do mean "fudge", taking a vacation in Sudan to play golf.