"I don't usually go out but when I do, I make it rain."
"It's true what my friend said, you do smell like horseradish!"
"Just call me Macho P."
Honorable mention to: "Don't look at the waitress, I slept with her. No not that one! Well actually that one too.", "Do I still have glitter on my gums?", and "This steak is for me, and this one is for my tapeworm. Did you think I ordered for you?"